Ready or not

I'm trying to be ready this time.  I am 17, almost 16 days away from Benson's due date.  For me, a due date is just a rough ballpark date of when the baby MIGHT come.  They follow their own time table and will come when they're good and ready.  It makes me laugh when I hear moms proudly talk about how their babies came right on their due date, like the baby knew the due date or something.  When I was pregnant with Zoe, my water broke the night after both a baby shower and a chili cook-off at church.  I was wondering if that might happen with Benson, yet I have survived both activities, this time on different days, and nothing to show, baby wise, except this bowling ball attached to the front of my torso.  Zoe came 10 days early, by the way, and I'm kind of hoping that same thing with Benson.

In my efforts to be "ready" this time, I've done a lot of organizing and planning.  I was wondering earlier today, if I wasn't pregnant, if I'd be as gung-ho to get organized and well planned.  I doubt it.  But I'm glad I'm able to get these things done.  We're winding up our unpacking and there's only about 5-6 boxes left to unpack, but if they go unpacked for a little while longer, I'll be ok with that.

This pregnancy has been a bit easier than my pregnancy with Zoe and I think that has to do with the fact that I'm not whale-ishly pregnant through the heat and CA summers.  I haven't had as bad of swelling, and it's funny that even though I've got a little toddler to chase around and keep from writing on the walls, I feel like I still have a good amount of energy.  At this point, I get a lot of, "Is there anything I can do for you?" questions.  Several things come to mind such as, "Oh yeah, can you clean my shower and do my cooking and get my bills paid?"  But honestly, there are only one or two people that I would honestly ask that of and I think it'd only be family.  I know people are trying to be nice and compassionate, but I don't think anyone really expects to be asked to help like that.  I wish there was a way that I could bank up my sleep so that after Benson does come I could tap into that sleep.  It's funny how with new moms, everyone says, "Oh, you better get sleep while you can because after the baby comes you won't be getting much."  Seriously?  Getting sleep now isn't going to help after the baby comes.  It'll only make you long for more sleep.  

My friends threw me a terrific baby shower last week.  When I was asked what I wanted (we didn't register this time around - what's the point?), I was really at a loss for an answer.  I'm not one to have a themed baby's room nor am I too proud to put my lil' man in a pink bumbo seat (when the time comes).  It really just came down to clothes.  Clothes and diapers for the first month or two.  We do plan on cloth diapering with Benson and I just hope that Zoe is done with her current stash of diapers by the time Benson is big enough to wear them.  We're not even thinking of potty training right now.  I think we've got plenty of other things on our plate(s).

I don't have any fun stories to share on this post... I'm just rambling really.  Ryan continues to enjoy his job and that makes me happy.  I love having a husband that comes home happy.  Zoe is learning things so quickly.  She probably knows 1/3 of the alphabet letters and is definitely in imitation mode.  She's picking up a lot of words and signs and continues to amaze me.

Back to Benson (see, this post isn't even well organized!).  I'm wondering how I'll know when he's ready.  Zoe was pretty easy - my water broke at 2:30 AM.  Granted, she didn't come for another 26 hours, but still, there was no doubting that she was on her way.  My younger sister had a week of contractions before her son came.  I don't want to go through that.  I'm trying to be sensitive to my body and not do too much straining.  I'm hoping that my water will break with him too so that I don't have to wonder and/or pay attention to contractions.  

I've kind of given up on going to the gym.  I've noticed that on the mornings that I walk on the treadmill, my ankles tend to be more swollen in the evening.  And on the days that I don't walk, it doesn't feel like much of a work out.  I think sleeping is more important right now.  It's hard for Ryan though, I think, to be the sole gym goer right now.  Bless his heart, he comes home from the gym at 6 and I'm still in bed.  He sure is an example of diligence to me.

Yeah, so this post is all over the place, thought wise.  It might be awhile before I post again.  I kind of like just doing the pictures and video thing.  I do have some Easter pics and video to get up so you might see some of that soon.  Wish me luck!